they have barred me from doing what i want to do ( and what i am capable of doing ) . Instead, they are forcing me to do what i am incapble of doing, in a place i am incapable of living.

They have made my life useless , yet they want me to live. what for ?
and they would arrest me if i try to kill myself.

they have barred from doing the jobs i am suitable for -research, journalism, teaching. Because i crossed the age limit due to losing some years to mental illness. no concessions in age limit for those with history of mental illness. ( the indian govt. has always pretended that mentally ill people simply don't exist --there is no benefit programme for mentally ill people, even on paper )

they want me to do jobs involving sales . I am simply unfit for them. I do not even know how to talk to people properly ( I have Aspergers like traits ) . How will i ever do jobs in sales ? whats more, those jobs would be in horrible locations without even the most basic of amenities -- as many as 10-15 hours of power outages in a single day ( typical third world conditions )

some jobs in the IT sector don't bar me because of my age . ( although i would have to do courses to get those jobs ) . but amidst the current global crisis, these jobs have become extremely unstable. and in any case, the outsourcing industry has to close down one day, sooner or later. What will i do then ? ( there are age limits for most jobs in India )

The indian govt's laws have made me useless. Yet they won't allow me even to commit suicide. they would arrest me if they find me trying to kill myself.